Though Sorrows Like Sea Billows Roll

November 20, 2014. A date forever etched in my life as a day that God sent answers to prayers I had long taken before Him. Hopeless and alone, I was just trying to survive being a Mom and Wife. Faking being fine, and hiding my inward, daily struggle, I stumbled along. Failing at being a Mom daily and wishing I could just escape it all. I was doing the best that I could with what I had. 

It was on that fateful day, in desperation for SOMETHING, ANYTHING to change I made the leap to purchase something that changed everything. I didn't know as I scraped together spare change, re-adjusted my grocery plan, and thanked a couple of people for a little Birthday gift, that God was moving in a VERY special way. I still felt hopeless, desperate, and alone. Oh so alone. But I made that leap in faith. And I am oh so glad that I did. 

It wasn't until recently that I realized God had been walking beside me every step of the way. In that moment, he didn't just give me a ticket to better health, He gave me an amazing group of ladies who have been there for me. They have cried with me, prayed with me and for me, and rejoiced with me. I couldn't have known, that my decision to join Young Living on November 20, 2014, would also change my heart. It was just what my aching heart needed. Looking back, I can see God's hand. But in the moment, I truly just wanted, well, NEEDED something to change. 

One of my favorite hymns is, "It is Well With My Soul" by Horatio G. Spafford. It reads like this:

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well with my soul,
     It is well, it is well with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

This hymn was written at a VERY terrible time in Horatio's life. This story, inspires me often on days that I have felt despair begin to overwhelm my soul. It reminds me that God is there despite what I may FEEL at the moment. The TRUTH is, He is walking beside me when I am in my darkest hour. Oh what joy and peace overwhelm me in knowing this.

Are you in a similar place today? Is God perhaps walking beside you when you feel alone and hopeless? If you are one of His children, I assure you, He is. And maybe, just maybe, the answer He sent to me, is the answer He is sending to you. You can connect with me here.