Update: It's TWO BOYS!
On Tuesday, July 3, 2018, we excitedly went in for the 20 week and FIRST ultrasound. We couldn't wait to have the baby's gender put into an envelope to give to our dear friend who was throwing us a gender reveal party! We had decided to wait until the 20 week anatomy scan for the first ultrasound since research isn't clear on the effects to the baby.
Finally, my name was called and we all went back. The whole tribe! We wanted our boys to get to see their baby brother or sister too. The doppler touched my belly and then was quickly lifted away as the Ultrasound Tech said, "Ok, we have something we need to talk about." COMPLETE SHOCK followed as she said, "We have two babies." I quickly turned to Drew and said, "I TOLD you it was twins! I TOLD you!" (I had asked them to check for a second heartbeat at every appointment.) Drew sat in the chair with both boys climbing on him, hand over his face, trying to breathe deeply. I'm glad he was already sitting down. I'm not sure what would have happened if he had been standing. We quickly began deciding who we should tell or not tell before the gender reveal. A good bit of that Ultrasound was a blur, but I do remember finally seeing the first baby, and Isaiah exclaiming, "Oh no! There's a monster! It's going to eat the baby!!!" We laughingly explained that that 'monster' WAS the baby.
We continued to discuss things like vehicles, housing, job possibilities, how life looked after this. We were shocked and terrified. By the time we got home we were a little bit excited, then terrified again. Over the next few days we continued to process all the emotions.
Personally, I began to feel like I wasn't the right person for this job. I questioned, 'Why did God choose me for this?' I knew that God does not make mistakes and would give me the grace to do this when the time came, but I was so scared. I cried. I felt so guilty for not wanting TWO at once when so many good friends would give anything for just ONE sweet baby. I questioned why God gave me two and they didn't even have their one. I spent some time praying for those friends that day. Because, if I could have twins, THEY could certainly have AT LEAST one! I begged God to bless them. Twins don't run in either of our families, and they are Fraternal twins (separate placentas, separate sacks). So this is definitely a miracle!
Over the next few days I continued to process as we eagerly awaited the day we would know the genders. I was sure it was a boy and a girl. Which made the question, "what do you think it is?" harder and harder to answer. The majority of people guessed I would have a girl. A few guessed boy.
NONE of us were prepared for the news we received at the party today though. TWO boys!!!! This boy Mom tribe is growing and it's still all boys! Tears of thankfulness are pouring down my face as I write this last part. What I thought was just going to be a gender reveal party and something fun to find out with friends, turned into love and support I so desperately needed. God had moved in hearts to have so many join us for that special day. But he had also moved them to gift us with some things we will be needing to take care of two babies. He gave us community and provision that we are forever thankful for. He gave us a group of friends who prayed over us and continue to pray for us. God is so good. He knew just what we needed and provided in ways we never saw coming. I'm humbled beyond words by the sweetness and giving. I'm blown away by how God is already worked and by the work that I see He has done over the last two years in my heart and in forming a community I didn't realize I would need so desperately before we even knew how much it would be needed. God does not make mistakes.
I continue to pray for miracles for my friends who so desperately want a baby or a second baby and have struggled so much. I hope I get to rejoice with you over miracles SOON!
Finally, my name was called and we all went back. The whole tribe! We wanted our boys to get to see their baby brother or sister too. The doppler touched my belly and then was quickly lifted away as the Ultrasound Tech said, "Ok, we have something we need to talk about." COMPLETE SHOCK followed as she said, "We have two babies." I quickly turned to Drew and said, "I TOLD you it was twins! I TOLD you!" (I had asked them to check for a second heartbeat at every appointment.) Drew sat in the chair with both boys climbing on him, hand over his face, trying to breathe deeply. I'm glad he was already sitting down. I'm not sure what would have happened if he had been standing. We quickly began deciding who we should tell or not tell before the gender reveal. A good bit of that Ultrasound was a blur, but I do remember finally seeing the first baby, and Isaiah exclaiming, "Oh no! There's a monster! It's going to eat the baby!!!" We laughingly explained that that 'monster' WAS the baby.
NOTE: The 'monster' is on the right.
On the drive home, we discussed how this changed our plans. We were thankful we were already planning to move to a house because adding TWO into our already full two bedroom apartment was NOT going to work! We discussed Drew continuing his Masters Degree studies and he already knew there was no way we were fitting that in for the Fall 2018 Semester along with adding twins. We also knew that it would mean taking one day at a time and it left things uncertain for continuing his education indefinitely. Jobs, I was sure I needed to take on more part-time work for sure. But Drew was determined that he was going to work a second part-time job and I would be home with the kids. He felt that was a big enough job along with continuing to work to build my Young Living Business.We continued to discuss things like vehicles, housing, job possibilities, how life looked after this. We were shocked and terrified. By the time we got home we were a little bit excited, then terrified again. Over the next few days we continued to process all the emotions.
Personally, I began to feel like I wasn't the right person for this job. I questioned, 'Why did God choose me for this?' I knew that God does not make mistakes and would give me the grace to do this when the time came, but I was so scared. I cried. I felt so guilty for not wanting TWO at once when so many good friends would give anything for just ONE sweet baby. I questioned why God gave me two and they didn't even have their one. I spent some time praying for those friends that day. Because, if I could have twins, THEY could certainly have AT LEAST one! I begged God to bless them. Twins don't run in either of our families, and they are Fraternal twins (separate placentas, separate sacks). So this is definitely a miracle!
Over the next few days I continued to process as we eagerly awaited the day we would know the genders. I was sure it was a boy and a girl. Which made the question, "what do you think it is?" harder and harder to answer. The majority of people guessed I would have a girl. A few guessed boy.
NONE of us were prepared for the news we received at the party today though. TWO boys!!!! This boy Mom tribe is growing and it's still all boys! Tears of thankfulness are pouring down my face as I write this last part. What I thought was just going to be a gender reveal party and something fun to find out with friends, turned into love and support I so desperately needed. God had moved in hearts to have so many join us for that special day. But he had also moved them to gift us with some things we will be needing to take care of two babies. He gave us community and provision that we are forever thankful for. He gave us a group of friends who prayed over us and continue to pray for us. God is so good. He knew just what we needed and provided in ways we never saw coming. I'm humbled beyond words by the sweetness and giving. I'm blown away by how God is already worked and by the work that I see He has done over the last two years in my heart and in forming a community I didn't realize I would need so desperately before we even knew how much it would be needed. God does not make mistakes.
I continue to pray for miracles for my friends who so desperately want a baby or a second baby and have struggled so much. I hope I get to rejoice with you over miracles SOON!
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