From Broken to Able
I needed to write this out tonight now that my boys are in bed. All four of them! How am I so blessed to have so many sweet boys? I love them all so much. I wish I could spend every moment with them. But, I can't. I feel the pull. I feel the emotional struggle in me and in my two oldest boys for sure. And, honestly, in my twin babies too. This adjustment from two boys to four is no joke! I'm fighting to show them all how much I love them and I feel like I fail every day. I want so badly for all the gaps to be filled. For them not to notice that there's less of my time and less of me to go around. But, they notice. Today, my three year old napped on the couch while I nursed the twins. He had just asked me to snuggle him. He needed and wanted my touch, my love, and, I was unable to give it. He fell asleep waiting for me. It broke my heart to know he missed me and there was nothing I could do. A little later my oldest said to me, "Remember how it's hard having two bab...